BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH
This month has been dedicated to spotlight breast cancer. It can and does affect men and women. Whether you know someone who has been affected or not wearing pink is a super awesome jesture.
updated nails for a cause:
I attended school with Jennifer: a smart, funny, girl who wanted to be a model, hated her nose because it moved when she talked, loved wearing sunflowers perfume and singing strawberry fields forever. We attended middle school together. When i started highschool my parents thought it was funny to send me to an all girls high academy - i remember how scared i was the first day in my pleated skirt and vest with my mother but all that fear really went away when i saw Jennifer she was the only girl i knew and i felt relieved that i had a friend.
I stopped at a CVS on the way to Woodstock with friends and she was working. We spoke briefly and exchanged numbers. The following week we spoke on the phone. Our friendship did not really blossom until years later when we found each other on Myspace. She told me about her job as a chemist and the love of her life Elvis.
One day I went to see her myspace and it was filled with pink ribbons and stand up to cancer pics.
I didn't think she had breast cancer. She was so young! I shot her an email and she confirmed to me that she had breast cancer, and her upcoming double masectomy. We joked about getting some big ol' implants, pot smoking, wedding plans and hair loss.
I went up north to celebrate my best friend's birthday in November and Jennifer told me we should get together, but we didn't. I just thought "oh it's okay we'll see each other on my next trip...." I thought I'd see her again. Months later back at home I did not get a reply e-mail from her. I didn't think anything was wrong since she was working on her Masters, planning a wedding and fighting cancer - she can take her sweet time. One night while chatting with a mutual friend who told me about her passing. I quickly jumped on denial train; then reality hit me and my heart sunk. Even typing this I get choked up. One of my biggest regrets is not seeing her in November. I didn't think that one day in August of 1999 would be the last time I saw her.
I really thought that out of all the people that get cancer, she would beat it. She was so determined and optimistic about the future, her new home, her fiance, going to school, having a family, growing out her hair, raising money for cancer.
I came accross pictures of us from middle school, back when she had braces and was too shy to smile. Then pictrures of us in high school, fucking around. It is so odd seeing pics of us slowly morphing from girls into women. I look at those photographs and wish I could scream:
"YOU ARE GOING TO DIE BEFORE YOU HIT 30 - LIVE IT UP! GO AROUND THE WORLD - ROB A BANK - HAVE CHILDREN - ELOPE - GO TREASURE HUNTING - DO EVERYTHING YOU HVE EVER WANTED AND DO IT NOW!!!"
I wonder what her last thought was as she took her last breath and went on her way.
I miss her.